Experience Rochester Driving
By: Ryan Konko
Disclaimer: I do not condone nor participate in dangerous driving. Driving is a privilege, please drive responsibly.
Rochester is a unique city with its garbage plates, lovely weather, rich history, and driving. Yes, driving. Compared to other cities and regions in the United States this city in western New York has a higher level of driving. The unique use of the left lane as a non passing lane, highly effective use of brakes, lack of turn signals, and refusal to go the speed limit in rain or light snow sets us apart from the rest of the country. Although we score the lowest in the National Driver Test according to GMAC, this just reflects our beliefs to create our own rules for safer and more efficient driving. We are a different breed of smarter drivers. Following these steps will get you on the fast track to intelligent driving à la Rochester.
Step One: The Left Lane
The Interstate and expressways running through Rochester have at least two lanes. The right and middle lanes are for those who are driving slow or just keeping up with the flow of traffic. The left lane in contrast is for passing. This was thought to be an effective way for preventing traffic congestion so NYS made it into a law. In Rochester this law needs not apply because here our use of the left lane for slower cars makes for a intelligent way of driving. This does not allow others to pass, and creates congestion so that they can experience our sophisticated way of driving for longer periods of time.
Step Two: Braking
Rochester is a gold mine for oil and parts companies. In this unique city braking always makes sense, even when there is no reason for it. If nobody is in front of you while you are driving down the road why not brake? Not only does it cause you to consume more fuel, but it also wears down your brakes and causes other drivers behind you to slow down. Cars are something so very dear to us in Rochester, and we love spending time fueling our cars or replacing brakes. In order to achieve the higher level of driving in Rochester, one must spend as much time as possible with their car.
Step Three: Turn Signals
In Rochester there is no need for turn signals. In fact petitions have been started so that these annoying devices can be removed from the car. In this city we are all telepathically linked while driving, so there is no need for turn signals. Drivers can alert others of lane changes by closing their eyes and concentrating for three seconds before a turn or lane change is made. Other drivers receive this information telepathically and alter their driving to accommodate for the turn or lane change. Usually other drivers may thank the person’s refusal to use their turn signal by slamming on their brakes or honking, and screaming obscenities. A gesture of one finger is usually returned as a sign of politeness.
Step Four: Mild Weather Driving
The weather in Rochester is beautiful and one of a kind. Drivers take this idea to an extreme. A light rain or small amount of snowflakes is something to be celebrated amongst drivers. This is a great reason to spend more time driving. Drivers will slow down and brake sooner not to be cautious, but to see the wonders of weather happening before their very eyes. Why spend time indoors during a light drizzle or small dusting? By driving slower in conditions that are safe this ensures others will experience the weather as well. The best way to embrace the weather is to drive slower than the speed limit ( at least 5-10 mph) and to apply the brakes frequently. This gives the driver and their passengers, as well as others on the road the full experience of Rochester weather.
These four steps will lead you to a higher level of driving. Practice them often and soon you will be a part of an elite driving community that is Rochester, NY. Always remember, the best teachers are often the elders of Rochester, for they have the most experience driving and have become masters of the art of driving.
