Konkocars.com

By: Ryan Konko

The Volkswagen Phaeton was a technological marvel during the time it was sold in the United States. It shared the same platform as The Bentley Continental GT and Flying Spur, featured technology found in the Audi A8, and started at $64,600. Thousands less than the A8, and tens of thousands less than it’s Bentley counterparts. Sales fell short of expectations and at the end of the 2006 model year was pulled from the United States. The Phaeton’s marketing, pricing, and dealer network all contributed to its ultimate failure. The price was set too high and thus Volkswagen was unable to gain new buyers. Volkswagen had been marketed in the past to a younger generation and offering cheap, fun, German inspired automobiles. An expensive automobile being offered by a company that was born on providing affordable cars was a recipe for a sales disaster. A poor dealership experience for luxury car buyers only assisted in its failure. If Volkswagen were to alter its marketing to a different demographic, improve their dealership experience, and remodel their pricing, the Phaeton would have been more successful and may have prevented its untimely death in the United States.

Marketing killed the Phaeton. Volkswagen focused more so on advertising the Phaeton to a demographic that was already dominated by other luxury car brands such as Lexus, BMW, Mercedes, and even cross marketed with the Audi A8. The company was viewed by the public as one that offers affordable German cars, not one that sells premium luxury. People ages 18-49 were part of Volkswagen’s demographic, which included only a very small number of flagship buyers. Instead it was marketed to an older, and wealthier demographic. This demographic focused more on brand heritage, something that Volkswagen lacked in this segment. The Phaeton was also a part of Volkswagen’s website, not a separate website. By not having a separate website, it wasn’t differentiated from non luxury oriented Volkswagens. Volkswagen failed to differentiate the Phaeton and marketed the vehicle to a demographic that was already dominated by other luxury brands.

The pricing for the Volkswagen was too high for its demographic. Starting at $64,600 base and $94,600 with the W-12 engine, the Phaeton was priced lower than most of it’s competition. However at this price bracket Volkswagen’s demographic was alienated. A car company that offers $16,000 Golfs also offered a flagship which can be priced over $100,000. The BMW 7-Series in 2004 started at $69,300, the Mercedes S-Class started at $74,250, the Audi A8 at $68,500, and the Lexus LS at $55,573. The $64,600 base price was more inexpensive than some of its competition, but wasn’t low enough to attract new buyers or steal them from other companies.

Luxury car buyers want a dealership experience that will not leave them frustrated, or make them feel alienated. A buyer of a high end luxury car wants to feel as though they are being treated better than someone who is spending $16,000 on a Golf. They wanted to trust the dealership while spending upwards of $64,600, and in an atmosphere where salesmen are selling both inexpensive compact and expensive luxury models, the dealerships failed to deliver. Dealerships were also forced to buy in if they wanted to sell the Phaeton, so many were unable to offer the car to the public. This deterred potential Phaeton buyers because they were not available, leading them to shop elsewhere for luxury cars.

The Volkswagen Phaeton would have been more successful in the U.S. had Volkswagen changed their marketing. The Phaeton should have been marketed as a separate part of Volkswagen in order to set it apart from the company’s more inexpensive models, and marketed to a different demographic. Instead of being a part of Volkswagen’s website, a separate website dedicated to just the Phaeton should have been created. This would change the perception of the Phaeton causing it to be seen as an authentic luxury car, and setting it apart from Volkswagen’s model line. While Volkswagen had marketed the Phaeton to a demographic already dominated by luxury car companies, focusing on younger professionals would have created more potential buyers. Advertisements aimed at a young professional demographic should have featured aggressive comparisons to expensive luxury cars, while including subtle humor to appeal to the demographic. These changes in marketing would have yielded a greater number of buyers for the Phaeton.

With base prices of $64,600 and $94,600 for each engine option the Phaeton was priced just under it’s competition. The Phaeton in retrospect should have been priced to compete with the likes of a well equipped BMW 5 Series and Mercedes Benz E-Class, Lexus GS, and Audi A6, benchmarks in the industry. In this bracket, the Phaeton would be more appealing to both young professionals and consumers looking to buy into the luxury segment. Dropping the W-12 option would give the Phaeton competitive pricing for a flagship luxury sedan. Giving consumers a bigger warranty and a maintenance free program instead of the basic 4 year/50,000 mile warranty would instill confidence in the consumer to buy the Phaeton. With pricing just under $60,000, subtraction of the W-12 option, and a larger warranty, the Phaeton would be more attractive to consumers and competitive to other luxury automobiles.

A major mistake by Volkswagen was that they didn’t improve their dealerships in order to accommodate luxury car buyers. The Phaeton should have been made readily available to all dealerships instead of forcing them to buy in. Making the car more available to the public would increase sales for the Phaeton. Salesmen specially trained for the Phaeton would help to create a more comfortable and confident atmosphere for the consumer, and set them apart from the rest of the car buyers at the dealership. Retraining the service department and renovations would provide an efficient and friendly atmosphere to ensure the customer is taken care of and create a long term relationship with the customer. By improving the dealership experience Volkswagen would gain and retain buyers in the luxury car segment.

Marketing, Pricing, and Volkswagen’s dealership network all contributed to the Phaeton’s failure in the U.S. market. The Phaeton was unsuccessfully marketed to a demographic controlled by other luxury car companies, its pricing did not give it a competitive edge in the marketplace, and the dealership experience offended luxury car buyers. Marketing towards younger professionals, more competitive pricing, and a refreshed dealership experience would have created a successful marketplace for the Phaeton. With it’s Bentley underpinnings and Audi technology the Volkswagen Phaeton was a luxury marvel plagued by poor sales.

The Top 10 Douchebag Cars:

We all know them, we all hate them. They are douchebags. Said to have come from the bowels of New Jersey. Stained orange with spray tan, hair hard as a rock from gallons of hair gel, and a complex language of “Word Brah” and “Sup Dog”, this species of human has spread all over the northeastern United States. They can be found driving with a backwards Yankees hat, their left hand on the top of the steering wheel, leaning on the center console, andtheir seats as far back as they can go. Their style has spread worse than the Swine Flu infecting males ages 13 to 35, and giving them a sense of entitlement and extreme cockiness that has extended to the cars they drive.

10: Lexus IS 

Luxury that a douchebag can barely afford. With lease offers for $349 a month this is a great car for douchebags to try and show everyone how much money they have in their invisible bank account because they own a Lexus. Usually can be found with window tint and wheels, which they are charged for in the end.

9: Nissan Maxima

Douchebags driving the Nissan Maxima can be found swerving in and out of traffic at high speeds, without knowing how to use a turn signal. Why is this popular amongst douchebags? It is born from “Godzilla” aka the Nissan GTR, and can be equipped with Nissan’s bread and butter 3.5 liter v6 providing decent power. It is believed by douchebags to be a “hot whip”.

8: Mitsubishi Eclipse

Spanning almost all four generations, from 1990 to present, douchebags commonly refer to this car as the “Clipse” followed usually by a “Yo” or “Dog”. According to douchebag legend when equipped with a turbocharger, they are “Mad fast”. They can be found for little amounts of money due to the fact they have been abused and are older cars. Douches usually have modified them with cheap wheels and an exhaust, and can be found racing obnoxiously through traffic.

7: Chevrolet Cobalt SS

While the Cobalt is a car that vast numbers of people own its performance variation, the Cobalt SS, is a popular car amongst douchebags. Newer Cobalt SS’s are relatively cheap and provide decent performance. Add the fact that it has a spoiler, bigger wheels or “rims”, and a body kit and you have a perfect douche car. They take pride in flaunting the fact that they own the most expensive Cobalt Chevrolet offers.

6: The Mk 4 VW Jetta/GTI (1999-2005)

The fourth generation of Volkswagen Jetta and GTI, produced from 1999-2005 is a favored car amongst the douches of America. Calling themselves “Dubbers”, it has been said that their ways are the result of eating paint chips as children. Unreliable and almost a decade old, these cars can be bought for cheap, and give EMO douchebags the idea that they are part of an exclusive “Euro” crowd even though tens of thousands of other Americans own a Jetta or GTI. They are commonly found with the EMO douche driver hanging his left arm out the window.

5: Honda Civic Si

What makes the Civic Si so popular amongst douchebags? It has Vtec. It makes their car fast. Throw on a “fartcan” exhaust to make lawnmower sounds, a unnecessarily large spoiler, a $20 body kit from Ebay, some cheap Pep Boy wheels, and you have a douchebag’s dream Civic. An obnoxious stereo system is a requirement and can be heard blasting annoying rap music from a mile away.

4: Nissan 350Z

The favorite (attainable) sports car of douchebags everywhere. With power ranging from 287 hp to 300 hp and low prices douchebags flock to the “three- fidy”, or “Z”. “Drifting” has propelled this car up amongst the ranks of douchebag drivers, and can almost always be found with a younger male staring at other drivers to make sure they are checking out his car.

3: Acura Integra

With a huge market of aftermarket parts (that can be overnighted from Japan) this car is rarely found stock, and always has a douche behind the wheel. Powered by the legendary Vtec, it is believed by douchebags to be the fastest car on the road. They are commonly found revving their engine at stoplights and racing soccer mom’s minivans to boost their ego. If sounds of lawn equipment are heard on your street then it is most likely a douchebag driving an Integra.

2: BMW 3 Series

The BMW 3 Series, or almost anything BMW is a revered car amongst all douchebags. Commonly referred to as the “Bimmer” or “Beemer” it is believed to propel any douchebag to the top of the food chain. According to douchebags, sluts and whores flock to the car. Having a BMW makes a douchebag part of an elite “Euro” class and automatically adds $50,000 to their imaginary bank account. The performance variant, the M3 is the ultimate BMW for all douchebags.

1: Infiniti G35

The Holy Grail and epitome of the douchebag automobile is the G35. Sought after and praised, it has become the poster car of every douche in America. A G35 is guaranteed to be driven by a headband equipped, fake tan, and spiky haired douchebag. They OWN the road. There is just enough room for the douche’s ego to fit inside the G35. They can get any slut or whore they want. The G35 needs not apply to traffic laws, all others obey the douche driving it. Any douchebag that owns a G35 is king, and all must obey. Bow down, for the G35 is the Douchebag car.

By: Ryan Konko

Disclaimer: I do not condone nor participate in dangerous driving. Driving is a privilege, please drive responsibly.

Rochester is a unique city with its garbage plates, lovely weather, rich history, and driving. Yes, driving. Compared to other cities and regions in the United States this city in western New York has a higher level of driving. The unique use of the left lane as a non passing lane, highly effective use of brakes, lack of turn signals, and refusal to go the speed limit in rain or light snow sets us apart from the rest of the country. Although we score the lowest in the National Driver Test according to GMAC, this just reflects our beliefs to create our own rules for safer and more efficient driving. We are a different breed of smarter drivers. Following these steps will get you on the fast track to intelligent driving à la Rochester.

Step One: The Left Lane

The Interstate and expressways running through Rochester have at least two lanes. The right and middle lanes are for those who are driving slow or just keeping up with the flow of traffic. The left lane in contrast is for passing. This was thought to be an effective way for preventing traffic congestion so NYS made it into a law. In Rochester this law needs not apply because here our use of the left lane for slower cars makes for a intelligent way of driving. This does not allow others to pass, and creates congestion so that they can experience our sophisticated way of driving for longer periods of time.

Step Two: Braking

Rochester is a gold mine for oil and parts companies. In this unique city braking always makes sense, even when there is no reason for it. If nobody is in front of you while you are driving down the road why not brake? Not only does it cause you to consume more fuel, but it also wears down your brakes and causes other drivers behind you to slow down. Cars are something so very dear to us in Rochester, and we love spending time fueling our cars or replacing brakes. In order to achieve the higher level of driving in Rochester, one must spend as much time as possible with their car.

Step Three: Turn Signals

In Rochester there is no need for turn signals. In fact petitions have been started so that these annoying devices can be removed from the car. In this city we are all telepathically linked while driving, so there is no need for turn signals. Drivers can alert others of lane changes by closing their eyes and concentrating for three seconds before a turn or lane change is made. Other drivers receive this information telepathically and alter their driving to accommodate for the turn or lane change. Usually other drivers may thank the person’s refusal to use their turn signal by slamming on their brakes or honking, and screaming obscenities. A gesture of one finger is usually returned as a sign of politeness.

Step Four: Mild Weather Driving

The weather in Rochester is beautiful and one of a kind. Drivers take this idea to an extreme. A light rain or small amount of snowflakes is something to be celebrated amongst drivers. This is a great reason to spend more time driving. Drivers will slow down and brake sooner not to be cautious, but to see the wonders of weather happening before their very eyes. Why spend time indoors during a light drizzle or small dusting? By driving slower in conditions that are safe this ensures others will experience the weather as well. The best way to embrace the weather is to drive slower than the speed limit ( at least 5-10 mph) and to apply the brakes frequently. This gives the driver and their passengers, as well as others on the road the full experience of Rochester weather.

These four steps will lead you to a higher level of driving. Practice them often and soon you will be a part of an elite driving community that is Rochester, NY. Always remember, the best teachers are often the elders of Rochester, for they have the most experience driving and have become masters of the art of driving.